In with the Impermanence

“An empty carton of Pall Mall cigarettes. Of course!” I laughed to myself and kept walking down the sidewalk. It’s in these moments I wished I could reach out and let him know.

“Him” being this dude I dated on-and-off for way too long. My latest garbage-day discoveries from “QAnon Neighbor’s” recycling bin was one of maybe three things we had actual conversations about. Why did I try so hard to make something stick with him? And why does it aggravate me that he’s no longer part of my life? Like, block-and-ignore-me out of my life.

I’m annoyed because I’ve had a successful track record of keeping former boyfriends as friends. I’ve never understood where the love goes at the end of a relationship. Like your soul reincarnating when you die, my past loves mostly reincarnate as besties with whom I can eat massive quantities of bar food.

I agree it’s not always a healthy or realistic choice. And everyone’s entitled to spend their emotional energy in a way that aligns with their boundaries. … Read the rest