Yes, I know I haven’t written in like six weeks. Yes, I know I have sixteen more things to write in just a few months. Lay off me, I’ve done the math.
I’ve always been particularly adept at handling multiple priorities at once, but the past month has taught me an important lesson: I can’t do everything.
This was a news flash for someone who’s historically been successful at doing all the things at once, and stubborn in my pursuit of doing them.
As you know, I’ve spent the past eight weeks completing yoga teacher training. It required focus, and I wanted to honor the investment and immerse myself fully in the experience. Between the physical practice and the personal development, it was an exhausting and wildly rewarding adventure.
On top of this, it’s also my most demanding time of year at work. I was unusually busy planning a huge fundraising event, hosting board meetings, staying on top of deadlines and generally trying to be a medium-good leader.
Oh, and then there’s being a friend/daughter/sister/wife. Lucky for me, Huzzbot said, “You do what you need to do. Chooch and I will be here.” To all my friends whose voicemails and emails remain unresponded to, thank you for your patience. I’m on my way.
Which brings me to writing…per usual, when things get busy, we tend to put ourselves on the back burner. Taking time to stare out a window and daydream ignites my creativity and helps me generate ideas. I haven’t had the space to stare, connect dots in my world and craft words to represent a “thing.” Whenever I tried, the things felt forced and I became discouraged. I felt like a season-five Carrie Bradshaw who was so desperately out of ideas that she considered writing about her sock drawer.
Instead of forcing myself to stay on track with a self-imposed deadline. I gave myself permission to re-prioritize and take a short break.
During yoga teacher auditions this week (because I also did this during the busiest week of my year), I talked about acceptance and releasing the expectations you have of yourself. We come to our mat thinking our bodies and minds will behave a certain way, and when they don’t do what they could yesterday, it’s easy to start judging and comparing.
Yoga teaches us that where you are right now is exactly where you’re supposed to be. Not that it’s wrong to strive toward growth, but you need to be patient and accept the process.
As I said the words out loud, I was like, goddammit. Once again, stupid yoga is creating relevant lessons for my life off the mat.
So here I am. I’ve accepted that my process took a turn and looks different than what I planned. But I’m back. It might take a couple extra weeks to hit my goal, but I’m ok with that. Besides, that’s what happens when you take a scenic byway. Sometimes it gets flooded and you have to wait for the river to recede to keep moving down the road. It feels good to be back on solid ground.