As part of my winter solstice ceremony, I wrote four pages of things I wanted to release from 2020. Disappointments, bad memories, behaviors that no longer lined up with the person I’m becoming.
After two hours of sun salutations, meditation and writing, I ripped the four pages from my notebook, took them outside and flicked my lighter onto their bottom edges. The flame started small and brightened quickly. I threw the flaming pile onto the ground and watched it disappear. I stared as the embers twinkled and faded. When the very last ember burnt out, my chest deflated in relief. Two seconds later, one of the embers re-lit itself.
You know that feeling when you’re walking away from someone after a hard goodbye and you turn around to look at them one last time? That’s what my flaming pile did to me. That last ember of 2020 turned its head, gave me a half smile with sincere, regretful eyes and walked away.
The things I gripped too tightly, the closure I never received from people who hurt me, the brutal lessons I never asked for, the punches I stood there and took…that last ember embodied the “Sorry, thank you, goodbye,” I didn’t know I needed.
Here we are. It’s 2021. Out with the old.
In my year-end reflection, I burned the junk I wanted to ditch and plucked out the feelings I want to push forward.
Last year I prioritized self-trust and confidence. I sought opportunities to practice this in all buckets of my life. Whenever I raised my voice, stood up for myself, shared my vulnerability, set boundaries, and made choices that weren’t in alignment with what I thought OTHER people wanted from me, it made me feel powerful. Big. Bold. I want more of this.
This year I’m putting my fists on my hips, Wonder-Woman style, and will keep heading into the land of the BOLD. To get there, I’ll shed some things and pick up a few new tools. Writing and creating has always made me feel bold. I feel bold and aligned with my purpose when I’m sharing hard stuff, and hearing back about what’s also hard for YOU. So that’s what I’ll do – write and share the hard stuff.
This writing project will be a place to explore what’s working (and what’s absolutely NOT) as I set out on this path. I’ll be vulnerable, irreverent, silly, honest and probably very inconsistent in my posting schedule – but I’m committed to trying.
My goal is that my honesty will help you feel less alone in your own process, and maybe even give you glimmers of inspiration along the way. Let’s make this a conversation. Share with others, share with me…let’s get comfortable being uncomfortable.
Here we go, pals…Out with the old, IN WITH THE BOLD!